nadie o nada..

How do you tell someone what's bothering you when your whole relationship is based on a lie?  On being used?  About finding similarities in a world of difference, in a world that's all just the same.  I can't tell you what's been on my mind, for I am afraid I will lose you.  I'm afraid that time and space have the power to separate, it's done it before.  I am afraid when I leave, I will be a figment of time you spent wisely, and not so productively.  I am afraid when I leave I will be nothing more then a friend with great benefits, nothing more then a tuesday afternoon.  Nothing more then the gas money you didn't spend, the sheets we filthied  with our bodies of lies & ties.  Now i'm toungue tied, what do I say?  How to make you stay?  I'll go, go with the flow, you stay.  It's easier to go, and not to know, what you left here.  It's easier to start new, that much is true.  It's easier to rhyme when your mad, and much easier to cry when your sad, but who knew?  Now it's fall, the greatest month of all and i've made no step further, no, no step closer to you.

Nuevo

I haven't wrote a blog entry in way too long, I guess writing privately isn't as fun as I thought.  What's new in my life?  CLINT came home from South Korea and spent the last 4 wonderful nights with us!  It was so amazing to see him, he has done so much.  I am fininshed my portfolio and pretty set on photography school in January.  I planned a road trip with Clint for the middle of September for 10 days to go see cousins in BC!!  I have been working 6 days a week, hating it.  My diet is shit.  I drink too much and eat too much and work too much, but hey thats life.

a little about me

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind 
I can withhold like it’s going out of style 
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone 
who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met. 
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected. 
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen 
And you've never met anyone 
Who's as positive as I am sometimes

in-bread

I have never seen a bigger group of hill billy fucks in my life.  I got off work at 9:15 roughly with no plans on going out, until of course, I was easily convinced to go out.  I was looking forward to doing something different for a change, like hanging out with these guys we were supposed to.  However we ended up at the cerebral palsy center, the Owl.  Within moments I could tell that it was the usual Abercrombie and Fitch wearing _____ that are typically there, however we went in anyways.  I saw_____ friends, which is always a great treat, and convinced_____ and _______ to go to Ohans.  While entering Ohanlons I see C, of course, and he doesn't look at me.  Among all the dirt bags, even BT looked intelligent.  There were nothing but Rider Prider chicken fuckers at the pub.  But I am beginning to sound like a broken record.

I need out, seriously, I have never felt less stable, less confident, less amused, less creative, less productive in my entire existence.  I need to leave, I seriously don't care where, but NOTHING is here for me.  The man I will marry will certainly not be from this province, hell I doubt he will be from this country.  But ANYWHERE is better then here.  I am starting to feel crazy, I feel trapped.  Moose Jaw hell, Estevan sounds better everyday.

luna baile.

I think it's safe to say
nothings as good as it seems.
And I think it's safe to assume
nothing is real in your dreams,
but oh no I won't expect the worst.

And although your hand on mine
was convincing at the time
I think it's safe to guess,
while my arm around your chest,
unannounced feelings of emptiness.

And I would call each of my friends,
they'd listen,
same sob story over and over again.

I felt it first.
My heart burst.
Too young.
Solo diecinueve.

Womens Nike Snowboard Boots.

I was just told I am being sent last years model of women's Nike boots for free from the shop I worked at in Calgary.  So bloody stoked my 32 lashed are just about busted, and screw all you haters I have heard good things about these boots.