betrayal

betrayal is a funny, heart breaking little thing that turns your world upside down, heart torn apart, shattered into a million little pieces of clay.  where my heart used to be is a hole.  if you love yourself, don't cause anyone heartbreak.  if you love somebody, don't cause them tears.

Happiness is the only good.  The time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here.  The way to be happy is to make others so.

This time we go sublime
Lovers entwined, divine, divine.
Love is danger, love is pleasure,
Love is pure, the only treasure.
I am so inlove with you,
make love your goal.

BAM

Fools rush in.
I've been fooled before,
This time im gonna slow down,
'cause I think this could be more,
The thing im looking for.

WYWH

Where in the world did you come from?  And thank YOU for leaving.  6 foot tall boys with tattoos, musical talent and motorcycles don't fly under my radar.  Is this a test for my sanity?  The last 6 days of my life have been filled with more joy, music, laughter & attraction then I have ever felt in my life.  Infatuation? Is an understatement, you've grasped me and grabbed my hand in the most convenient of times.  How did you do it?  I was never one to believe that fate/timing/babble bullshit, but this is a pretty great representation that when you aren't looking for anything other than to smile that day, you get a box of pretty puppies on your doorstep.  Can't eat can't sleep kind of stuff, I am cheese.  I hear myself saying things to you that I didn't think I could create in my wildest dreams.  I am mush, my legs feel like Jello if you so much as glance at me.  Helpless kitten, that's me when you grab my hand.  I am hopeless.

into 2013

2013 how you sent me for a loop, my life is changing drastically by the month.  I've started the most amazing job at a vet clinic, bought a house in my favourite neighbourhood in the city, have lost over 15 pounds, made new friendships, said good-bye to some awful friendships.

I'm learning that good people are few and far between.  Hanging onto important people is so key in life, friends and family are the most important thing in life.  Without my rocks (family & friends) I have no idea where I'd be today.

In 2012 I believe i've figured out exactly who I am, and i'm ready to do what it takes to make positive changes in my life.  This city isn't all bad, i've decided.

I fainted during my veterinary practicum today, great first impression.  On the bright side, I leave for EUROPE tomorrow! Spain here I come!!!!

Ohhhhh old habits die hard when you've got, when you've got a sentimental heart.

holy guacamole.  have things EVER changed in the past 6 weeks.  I moved into a beautiful home in the cathedral area of Regina with my cousin.  I have TWO new jobs, one in which I will be working with children and adults with severe mental disabilities.

i've learned :  I am a push over.  AND good friends shouldn't be toyed with.

The Builders and The Butchers

It usually takes me ALOT to call a new band a "favorite".  The second I heard "The builders and the butchers" I knew they would forever be one of my favorite bands.  Tracks like "Barcelona" and "Black Dresses" shouldn't go unknown.  Check them out for yourselves and you'll see what I mean.

Come on just stay here
You're lucky you made it
We already had this fight,
I will not have it twice

Come on let's face it
You're weird, I can take it
That will not change tonight
So be my strange delight

Please don't think so hard
You have been so far
I'm trying to make it easy
I am the voice of reason
and I won't let ya leave

Take a look at this cozy room
We won't be moving anytime soon
Take a look at this crazy life
Now tell me if you think it's worth it, right?
We can talk it over
But I won't let you leave

Come on just stay here
You're luck you made it
We already had this fight
I will not have it twice

We were born and raised in a summer's haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days.

I'm sorry my dear friend,

This isn't quite what I signed up for.  Didn't sign up for lonely nights, too drunk to fight, too passive to make it right.  I'm sorry my dear friend, I've spent some nights alone & these games I have outgrown.  It's not your fault, it's not mine, but don't worry you'll be fine.  I'm over this city, need someone to call me pretty.


NP

chop

my boyfriend chopped his foot with an axe on friday.  chop.

things i've chopped with an axe :  my phone, wood. chop chop.

things i'd like to chop with an axe : an apple, a longboard, a rapist. chop chop chop.

     mi hermana leaves tomorrow, fuck.

Hard Believer

Well I see you've got your bible your delusion imagery
Well I don't need your eternity or your meaning to feel free
I just live because I love to and that's enough, you see.
So don't come preach about morality, that's just human sense to me.

I was born 6 decades late.

OH novio you'll say ..

"Untie me, I've said no vows
The train is getting way too loud
I gotta leave here my girl
Get on with my lonely life"


I've accomplished one feat everyone thought was impossible,
Let's see if I can manage just one more.

Oliver.

A huge piece of my heart died today.  Rest in peace my beautiful cat.

June 12th 1999 - July 27th 2011.

siete.

During what has been one of the hardest weeks of my life, I can honestly say I have learned more about humanity & greed then I have in my entire life time.  I have never been so appreciative to have such wonderful people in my life, but people I least expected to be there for me in the absolute worst of times.  It is Thursday, and since Monday afternoon I have got nothing but awful news.  My good friend passed away on Tuesday, and well the rest I don't want to get into.  I have had such a good year up until now that I knew there was bound to be a setback (or two).  I  appreciate the following more than anyone possible :
Chaunce, Kyle, Kool-Aid, Alexie, Jenny, Eldon, Deed, Kelsey, Mom & Dad.

Nobody teaches you how to cope with death or depression.  Everyone is afraid to talk about it.  I have never had to deal with this during 22 years of my life, and in a week I have dealt with it twice.  I always look around and wonder, "What if these people knew what was going on?"  "Would this guy have just flipped me the bird for driving too slow if he knew what I was going through"?  And then it hit me, that for 22 years, since I have never had to deal with death, that this has been something I have never considered.

It is true, that everyone has a story that would break your heart.  And as I sit here pounding the keys of my Mac, wishing I could just wake up and this nightmare go away, I have reached an epiphany.  We need to stop and smell the flowers.  We need to be kind to one another.  I don't expect sympathy from anyone, but I did expect my best friends to be with me during this week from hell.  I know this is bad, when it hurts to smile, and everything I see/hear reminds me of these two.  I can't help but think there was something I could have done.

Oh 22, you started out so well, please don't fail me now.